- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Mental Health
*Dedicated to my Momma Karen, as she is the reason that I am alive today*
Hi, my name is Shannon. I am an abuse survivor. I have been abused in all the ways you can think of. I started to lose all hope when I hit my teenage years. I turned to self harming, drugs and alcohol by the time I was 16 years old. For a long time, the doctors just kept saying I was just depressed, but I knew better. I could feel it within my soul that something was just not right. No medication or therapy worked. My first suicide attempt was that same year. I was abused at home and at school. I felt that I had no one and that no one cared about me. It took until I was 21 years old to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, PTSD and borderline personality disorder. It took many doctors to get the right diagnosis. As a kid or teen, they often automatically label you as “depressed,” and it takes until you are older for people to figure out that there is more to it than that.
I did some pretty stupid stuff while in my manic episodes. I hurt a lot of people in the process. While I was bad off, I would take off for days at a time and tell no one where I was. What changed me was having my kid. When I learned I was pregnant with him, I knew I wanted him. I was not wanted when I was born and I grew up so messed up from that. The families I lived with were horrible. Most of them just took me for the money. So when I became pregnant, I knew that my baby boy was my reason for living.
I have been clean for three years now. The second I start to think about drugs and alcohol, I put my son into my mind. I am now in recovery. While not every day is going to be a good day, I know I can overcome any obstacle that comes my way. So can you. I am not saying that it will be easy, but with hard work and a lot of support you can do it. You may be thinking, “But my family does not support me.” I can tell you that you do not necessarily need your family to support you. You really just need anyone who will be on your side. It does not matter who it is.
When I started to feel better, I decided that I wanted to reach out and help people. So, I started my own page on Facebook. It is a depression and suicide support page. I started it because I know what it is like to have no support. I also know that there are probably many more looking for help. I am not a doctor by any means but I have lived the life. I can tell you that, no matter how dark things are, suicide is NOT the answer. Once you die, you can’t come back. Life is a gift. Anything wrong in your life can be changed. You have the power to change what you do not like in your life. I also started my page because I lost my mother to suicide, and it hurts every day that I could not save her.
I now dedicate my life to helping people and raising my son. I can honestly say that I am happy for the first time in my life. Stay strong and understand that you are not alone in this journey.