- Alcohol
- Drugs
Hello, my name is Scott. I’m an alcoholic. I’ve known this since I was 16 years old, but in my town it’s the norm. Like the country song, it’s all “church pews and bar stools.” My upbringing wasn’t terrible but it was painfully neglectful and full of hatred thanks to my mother. It’s curious that my psychotherapist asked me who I love, and without a beat I said, “My mom.” I was taught that everyone should love their mothers while I grew up so I obeyed. Did this cause my alcoholism? It could be that or it could have been my untreated bipolar disorder, being molested, being teased by my peers, my love of beer or my father’s abandonment. All I know is that alcohol made me feel like someone, and I truly loved the escape, even after I threatened my own life multiple times.
I was drinking over 30 beers a day when I first went to treatment in 2009. The third time I entered treatment, I’d lost count of everything including my mind. I do know that I cut my leg multiple times to relieve this pain in my head. I was also overdosing on alcohol and pills and I taught myself how to smoke pills. On my last visit, I did the whole process of rehab, PHP, IOP and a halfway house. I got the crazy idea that I was fine and I left Florida in October of 2010 without telling my sponsor or others who I knew would talk me out of it. I made it to Christmas Eve, but my Indiana program was nonexistent and so I drank a pint of vodka. This was followed by days of isopropyl alcohol, vanilla extract, rum and beer. On January 11, 2011, I drove on an icy back road, lost control and purposely steered my truck into a tree. This led me to jail, house arrest and Florida. I think I’ll stay here this time!
The treatment center and alumni are amazing. They’ve helped me in so many ways by just listening to my woes and everyday life situations. I have truly met some great friends and continue to meet more. Treatment’s first step was getting me healthy. The second step was working on me and my mind and the third step was showing me the way to a better life through the steps. Thank you!
Today, I’m living. I’m accepting myself for who I am. I almost love myself, which I’ve never known how to do. I’m working for the city doing something I love (chemistry/biology). I’m constantly, mentally and comfortably running through the steps on a daily basis. I want to thank the treatment center and alumni again for all you do. You’re my safety blanket when I need one. My future is here in Florida and, as long as they don’t let me go, I’ll be with the city until I retire.
God bless!
Scott from Florida