- Drugs
- Faith
I overdosed in 2001 on crack cocaine and heroin. I wasn’t able to call anyone, and I was home alone. I knew I was dying, and this was this the day that I came up close and personal with my heavenly Father. I was battling for my life, and I knew if I didn’t fight and ended up dying, I was going to hell. I told God if that if he would give me my life back, I promised I would never touch another drug or anything like it as long as I lived. When I made that promise, I started breathing again and was so scared.
When I was told that I was adopted, I felt really strange and didn’t really understand what it was or what it meant. During my school years, people would ask me questions that I didn’t have any answers to. I started getting angry and lashing out. The rejection and abandonment issues started setting in. At the age of 12, I was molested; at the age of 15, I was molested, and this lasted for five years. The drug use started because I couldn’t tell anyone, and when I told the teacher at school what had happened when I was 12, she just laughed at me and said it was true.
At the age of 19, I was raped by a friend when he used GHB (a date rape drug). At the age of 26, I was raped again. The drug use and the sex became out of control because, in my mind, I thought this was the way a man was supposed to treat a woman—that to love was to hurt. Physical abuse started in my relationships, and I was beaten up all the time. Then the street life became my life. I knew nothing else. Then drugs and prostitution were my way of life, and I didn’t see a way out until the overdose. My recovery started on June 4th of 2001.
I detoxed at home with a friend taking care of me for the first few years. I still wasn’t in church. I fought every day just to go to work and go straight home without stopping to buy drugs. It was bad because every day to and from work, I passed by the places. I was sick every day. I wanted to stop, but I knew I couldn’t. Scared of what would happen, I took another hit.
In 2005, I helped start a recovery community called Celebrate Recovery with a friend at the church we attended. During my recovery, I became a mother to the most amazing step-son. I have done radio shows on overcoming addiction and I have talked with and helped a lot of people during my recovery. God has been good to me and I’m very blessed to have the life I thought I would never have. God brought me back from the dead and gave me life—new FREEDOM in Christ. I praise him every day, and I celebrate life. Life is precious. I love myself and I love my life and the people in it. I have an amazing family and friends. I’m free to be me. DRUG-FREE!!