- Alcohol
Hi, I’m Ben. I have been in recovery for two years. I had been heading in the direction of recovery for several years. I am a musician in Nashville. I used to be a late night party guy for years and it was taking a toll on me, my health, and my life. That’s kind of the culture of the music world.
Also, my wife at the time was an alcoholic and she was abusive. I was smoking a lot of pot. I was drinking a lot. Things kind of exploded out of control. I was in a situation where I had to make a choice to get my life together and be a good parent to my children. I knew there was another way. I started out with a 12-step group which was really helpful. I also let go of the pot and drinking.
There are lots of great changes in my life now. Doors have opened. I used to think my creativity was linked to my head space and being high. In truth, I write better songs now, my voice is better, and I’m just clear. My creativity is much better!
I learned a couple of important truths. First of all, I had to change the folks I was hanging out with. I miss a lot of my pub friends. They are great people, but I cannot be in that environment anymore because they live based on partying. The party lifestyle just doesn’t work for me. Also, life is very precious. Every day really counts. It’s fragile and it can be taken away. Live every day like it’s your last.
I’ve started writing songs with people who are in recovery themselves. I write about their struggles and traumas. I take their stories and put them in a song for them. This is a very therapeutic approach for them and for me. I love doing it. Sometimes it’s a personal anthem we end up with, and sometimes it’s just their story. It’s been amazing for me and for other people. I just love doing this!
Here is a piece of advice I’d like to pass along to you. As a codependent, the saying that I love most is “Don’t just do something, sit there.” You don’t have to fix other peoples’ lives or spin their plates to keep them going. That is their job. Our lives matter too. A lot of times the best thing to do is nothing.
Also, if you are just starting out on the road to recovery, I want you to know that it takes some time, but eventually your head becomes so much clearer and your life becomes so much better. It’s very worthwhile. It changes your life and the lives of the people around you. Go for it!